day 2 at the hub today. managed to re-read all of my notes on control and well being and feel set enough to go back to my draft and work that into the intro and hypotheses. too bad i had a searing sense of fear and overwhelming concern when i opened up that document. of course, mind you, i managed to not have it on the usb drive (way to not be prepared) but pulled it off the dropbox cloud. but really, instantly upon opening the bloody document i was arrested by negative emotions. even though i've spent the past week+ preparing to delve back into it. it wasn't a good sign. and trying to write an additional paragraph was doing my head in. even after deleting adrian's comments, which i thought maybe were the culprit, i still felt anxiety towards the whole thing. but i think maybe i started to get something added into it regarding control and well-being. at this point, i'd take poor grammar and repetitiveness if at least the ideas were in there.
and there's still the emotion/mood, time, and effect/reasoning to go. i fear for tomorrow.
so that's where the actual work stands. still not with much progress and still instilling fear and anxiety in me. and it's my own document.
mind you i also opened that up right after reading through the candidacy nonsense which is going to be a huge hurdle. 35 page document plus presentation and another document alongside a hefty form. no thanks. i mean i know i have to, but i'm already halfway done that it seems a bit silly to have to do.
on a positive, different note, i took a long lunch break to sit with some of the other students. they've been nice yesterday and today. went along with 3 of them to a lecture this evening. about sports psychology and perfectionism. was interesting although i had hoped the sports psych would talk not in general about basic idea behind it but how to get someone back at it after a catastrophic failure/injury. because that was sort of in his introduction and i would find that extremely interesting on a personal note. also interesting that the other students have mentioned adrian's resemblance to NPH (or barney as they said) without any prompting*. pretty funny actually; brittany would enjoy that. and i've now been dared to say 'challenge accepted' at some point in the near future in reference to my phd in a supervisor meeting. i'm somewhat surprised that i probably haven't already.
[* photo comparison task if this is a new concept: NPH v. ACN]
and there's still the emotion/mood, time, and effect/reasoning to go. i fear for tomorrow.
so that's where the actual work stands. still not with much progress and still instilling fear and anxiety in me. and it's my own document.
mind you i also opened that up right after reading through the candidacy nonsense which is going to be a huge hurdle. 35 page document plus presentation and another document alongside a hefty form. no thanks. i mean i know i have to, but i'm already halfway done that it seems a bit silly to have to do.
on a positive, different note, i took a long lunch break to sit with some of the other students. they've been nice yesterday and today. went along with 3 of them to a lecture this evening. about sports psychology and perfectionism. was interesting although i had hoped the sports psych would talk not in general about basic idea behind it but how to get someone back at it after a catastrophic failure/injury. because that was sort of in his introduction and i would find that extremely interesting on a personal note. also interesting that the other students have mentioned adrian's resemblance to NPH (or barney as they said) without any prompting*. pretty funny actually; brittany would enjoy that. and i've now been dared to say 'challenge accepted' at some point in the near future in reference to my phd in a supervisor meeting. i'm somewhat surprised that i probably haven't already.
[* photo comparison task if this is a new concept: NPH v. ACN]
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